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Irish Jokes
updated: Mar 16, 2017, 5:15 PM

By the Dedicated Staff of edhat.com

In honor of St. Patrick's Day on Friday, we'd like to see some of your favorite Irish jokes. But please keep it clean, the Nanny's sense of humor is only PG-13 rated.

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

 COMMENT 763909 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 05:20 PM

Clean Irish jokes... A deafening silence! :P

 

 COMMENT 763911 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 05:33 PM

Q:Are you Irish?

A: No but Irish is was!

Patrick was a bad boy so he got saint to his room!

I just made those up I'm my head real quick, pretty clover huh?

 

 WILLOW agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 05:42 PM

An Irishman walks out of a bar.
...it could happen.

 

 COMMENT 763914 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 05:53 PM

May the road rise to meet your face, May you always be downwind from me.

 

 COMMENT 763918 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 05:58 PM

Where ever you find 4 Irishmen you will always find a 5th. har har har !

 

 COMMENT 763923P agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 06:12 PM

An Irish 7 course meal.... 6 pack and a potato

 

 COMMENT 763925P agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 06:21 PM

Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.'"

 

 REX OF SB agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 06:57 PM

A clean Irish joke…I…can't. I just…can't.

Sorry.

 

 FLICKA agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 07:23 PM

Irish Blessing---May those who love you, love you. For those who don't, may God turn their hearts. If He can't turn their hearts may He turn their ankle so you'll know them by their limp.

 

 COMMENT 763955P agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-16 09:33 PM

Q. What is Irish and stays on the patio, even when it rains?
A. Patty O’Furniture

Not mine but a good one nonetheless. Thanks google.

 

 COMMENT 763997 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-17 09:04 AM

a man walks into a store and says I'll take a six pack of guiness, a bag of potatoes, and a couple loaves of soda bread.

the storekeeper says you're irish, right.

the man says how did you know.

the storekeeper says this is a hardware store.

 

 COMMENT 764021 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-17 09:54 AM

I'm part Irish and on this day a friend of mine usually delivers a can of ready to eat potatoes and a bottle of Guinness. I am offended? Heck no. It's funny.
Good point about Cinco De Mayo 964.

 

 COMMENT 764026 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-17 10:03 AM

Nah 964, you're comparing oranges to apples. Go to Ulster if you want to make a similar comparison and throw around catholic jokes. You'll find the Irish love a good fist fight and everyone's welcome.

 

 COMMENT 764083 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-17 01:27 PM

964 -it's all about context and timing. My godparents grew up during the Great Depression and their families were Irish immigrants and very unwelcome at Ellis Island and beyond.

You bet your butt that Irish jokes would NOT have gone over so well with them a hundred years ago. History, my friend. History.

 

 COMMENT 764088 agree helpful negative off topic

2017-03-17 01:34 PM

An Irishman & and a Scot walk into a pub together. After a few rounds, a deep Irish voice bellows out, "Drinks for the house, on me!" The next morning, the local paper was headlined "Scottish ventriloquist found beaten behind pub."

(This works just as well with the ethnicities reversed)

 

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